I don't just sit around chewing gum, filing my nails, reading comic books, and listening to jazz records all day. Although it sometimes hurts my head to do so, I occasionally think about more serious stuff. Such as. . .the VT Massacre.
In an act tantamount to phoning up his publicist, the shooter, whose parents allegedly immigrated from South Korea in 1992 in search of a better life (some life, hunh?), contacted NBC via mail twixt his two grand guignol tableaux. Clearly, he had investigated all avenues of approach and came to the conclusion that the Peacock Net would be the most likely to take the low road and air his pornographically violent video rants. In that, he demonstrated a rare moment of lucidity and common sense of sorts. Yesterday there were already some thirty fledgling copycat incidents reported on various high school and college campuses around the nation. Thanks, NBC!
Q. Tell us Dr. Chilledair, is there anything we can take away from all of this, anything we
can. . .?
A. Repeal the second ammendment. And while we're at it, get rid of video games and rap (notice that I didn't call it rap music).